Always Choose Kindness

In the age of social media, as we sit behind our screens, it can be easy to forget that we’re speaking to real people, that our words matter, and that an offhand comment may hurt someone deeply or steal their joy.

There are entire Facebook groups devoted to conformation critique. In the purebred fancy, we are inundated with ads (often depicting regrettably photoshopped dogs). It can be easy to make snap judgements based on one photo or one moment in time. I’ve done it myself. Based solely on pics I felt a dog in our breed was mediocre. When I had the pleasure of seeing the same dog in real life, I was astounded. What a beautiful example of the breed. Pictures are just a moment in time and not all dogs photograph well.

It’s all too easy to steal someone’s joy. It can be as simple as being dismissive about a title that someone has worked hard for, a comment about how a photo doesn’t show someone’s dog well, or comparing your success to someone else’s.

We often lament that dog sports are dying (particularly conformation). It behooves us all to be welcoming, supportive, and caring - and beyond keeping the sport alive, can’t we all just choose kindness?

Let’s say, hypothetically, that you take it upon yourself to tell somebody that their heavily marked Dalmatian should “never have been shown” and they should “learn the standard”.

First, the person you are speaking to is, presumably, fully aware of their dog’s appearance. Perhaps they’re just more interested in things like overall conformation and balance, health, and fabulous temperament than they are about something that is purely decorative.

Second, and more importantly, they didn’t ask for your opinion.

Let’s say this same person said something very similar to a brand new competitor with their first Dalmatian and their first show dog. Except this time, the words were so hurtful and discouraging that this person never showed their dog again. (Hypothetically).

Don’t be the reason someone leaves the sport.

In Dalmatians, most of the dogs are owner-handled. If you are speaking to the person at the end of the lead, it is probably an owner who absolutely adores their dog and will take your comments very personally. We are all thin-skinned when it comes to our own dogs.

Be the person lifting someone up. Be the person who welcomes someone new, even if you think their dog isn’t competitive. Don’t offer a negative opinion unless it is explicitly asked for.

I’m so fortunate to have wonderful, experienced, caring mentors. They will always be fully honest with me (thank goodness) but also kind (also thank goodness).

Encourage new people. Celebrate their wins, even if you think that title was “easy” or isn’t a “real sport.” Many years ago, I worked in Animal Control and humane societies. Those jobs had a very lasting impression on me. After seeing so many dogs languish in backyards or on chains with owners who could barely be bothered to feed them, I am simply thrilled to see anyone out doing anything fun with their dog.

We all start somewhere. Sometimes it is with a less competitive dog, or in a very entry-level sport. Who cares? Celebrate people’s successes. Encourage them, welcome them, and be kind to them.

Let’s all try and choose kindness.